Cherish
by Lady Arreya
Summary: Missing moments/slightly AU coda for the episode "Course: Oblivion." P/T.


Originally written July 2000

Title: Cherish

Rating: M

Summary: Missing moments/slightly AU coda for the episode "Course: Oblivion." P/T.

A/N: Thanks to Julie for beta reading. :)

It always bothered me that the original Voyager crew never found out what happened to their Demon counterparts, so I wrote this AU story to explore what it would have been like if they had found out.

* * *

"Tom, what are you doing?! Put me down!" B'Elanna protested. Halfway down the corridor to their new quarters, he had suddenly picked her up.

She struggled to free herself, but he merely tightened his hold on her.

"It's customary for the groom to carry his bride over the threshold," he reminded her stubbornly.

"Is this really necessary?"

"Yes."

She didn't agree, but she decided to humor him. If he was going to insist on following tradition, she didn't want to argue with him. Not on their wedding night.

Besides, she had to admit that she kind of liked having him carry her in his arms like this. So she wound her arms around his shoulders, allowing him to carry her the rest of the way without further objection.

Upon reaching their new quarters, Tom keyed in the access code and carried her in, finally setting her down on their bed.

They silently stared at each other for a long moment, happy to be alone at last. The wedding reception had been lovely, but it had seemed an eternity to the impatient newlyweds. Toast after toast had been made in their honor after Harry the best man had started things off with a lengthy speech recounting the entire progression of their relationship. Everyone else had also wanted to offer their congratulations and warm wishes.

The entire day had been a flurry of nonstop, endless activity.

But now the reception was finally over, and they had all the time in the world.

He joined her on the bed, pulling her into his arms until she gently pushed him away.

"What?"

"Not so fast. I want to change first."

Disappointed, he watched as she disappeared from view. Well, he had waited this long; he supposed he could wait a few moments more.

He slowly removed his uniform jacket, glancing around his surroundings. Their new quarters. Beautifully decorated, it was a blending of their tastes and distinct personalities. He liked seeing their possessions intermingled, sharing the space that belonged to them both. It was a comforting reminder that he and B'Elanna would be sharing nearly everything for the rest of their lives. _Like this bed,_ he thought with an impish smile.

The bed seemed enormous, he suddenly realized. They were certainly accustomed to sharing a bed, but not one this big.

It was a minor change, but it would take some getting used to. No doubt there would be other subtle changes that they would have to adjust to.

It hadn't quite sunk in until now. They were officially married, and their lives would change in unfathomable ways. That was disconcerting but also exciting. He was confident that they would adapt to married life with relative ease.

_Our new quarters._ He did like the sound of that. They had agreed to spend their first night of marriage here rather than the holodeck. Tomorrow they would leave for their honeymoon... Which reminded him, he still had to decide on the perfect program. B'Elanna had left it up to him since she had planned most of the wedding. Besides, he was the expert on holoprograms.

_Hmm... Maybe Chicago, during the Roaring Twenties...? _

But his thoughts were interrupted as B'Elanna suddenly appeared in the doorway, clad in a revealing white nightgown with a plunging neckline. The gown flowed down to her ankles, but the gossamer fabric allowed him to clearly discern the outline of her lissome form.

The sight of her filled him with heady warmth, but also love and tenderness. He admired her silently, feeling incredibly lucky.

She smiled playfully, leisurely making her way over to him. This time she didn't push him away when he took her in his arms.

"Did you decide where we're going on our honeymoon?" she asked, as though she had divined his previous thoughts.

He laughed. "Not yet."

"Too many choices?"

"Yeah. But I've narrowed it down some. Definitely someplace on Earth."

"20th century Earth?"

"Maybe."

They grinned at each other.

"Whatever you pick, I'm sure I'll love it." And she was. She was too happy to care where they went. As long as they were together, any place was fine with her.

Sighing contentedly, she threaded her fingers through his thick hair as he buried his face in the curve of her neck, his arms securely encircling her waist. His hands began roving sensuously along her back and derriere, warming her through and through.

He gently eased them onto the bed so that he was on his back and she was on top of him. Their lips met lazily, sending sparks of desire through them both.

As she tugged off his shirt and pants, his hand slid beneath her gown, working between her thighs and softly stroking the sensitive region. She murmured her appreciation, lowering her mouth to his bared chest and running her fingers through the tangle of soft hair there.

Eventually he slid the delicate straps of her gown down her shoulders and arms, trailing fevered kisses along her supple skin. She shivered, relishing the delicious sensations he evoked in her.

They rolled over together, removing their remaining garments until they were completely uncovered. He showered her with kisses, pausing only to lick the curve of her throat, then lower at the valley between her breasts. He would have slid even lower, but she stopped him. There would be plenty of time for that later. Right now, she wanted him inside her.

He raised his head and moved over her once again.

"Tom," she implored, her eyes alight with desire.

Needing no further invitation, he sank into her welcoming embrace and her blissful warmth. He groaned as she surrounded him with heat.

She gasped with pleasure as she felt his heavy arousal fill the throbbing emptiness inside of her. She tightened reflexively around him, and he let out another muffled groan.

They settled into a familiar cadence, panting for breath. He took her hand in his, interweaving their fingers together, and slid his other hand to her hip. She wrapped her free arm around his back, urging him on, encouraging him to hasten his movements by thrusting hard against him.

He tensed, grasping her hand tightly as they climbed to the summit together. So tightly that he could feel the imprint of her wedding ring on his flesh.

"B'Elanna..." he moaned, finally surrendering to the consuming explosion of heat and sensation.

She cried out, feeling him erupt inside her. The heavenly sensation took her over the edge.

Sighing simultaneously, they collapsed back onto the bed together. Neither of them said anything for a while, content to lie there motionless and still entangled in each other.

Though they had been intimate before, they both felt that there was something special about tonight, the consummation of their marriage. It was the beginning of a new life for both of them, having firmly established their lifelong commitment to each other. Together, they would share the rest of their lives, relying on each other, supporting each other, taking care of each other, loving each other... Whatever came their way, they would face it together. It was reassuring to know that they would always have each other to turn to. Someone to talk to, to cry with, to laugh with...

Suddenly, B'Elanna sat up slightly. "This bed is huge," she finally noticed with a laugh, breaking the silence.

He chuckled in response. They'd only been married for a few hours, and she was already reading his mind. But he replied, "It's not that big," merely for the sake of disagreeing. "It's built for two, so we won't be invading each other's personal space."

"Is that so."

"It is."

"Okay... then this is my side of the bed," she informed him teasingly, turning her back on him and scooting to the edge. "Sleep on your own side."

"Hey!" he protested.

"You're 'invading my personal space.'"

He pouted. "You've never complained about that before."

"Well, we've never had this much space before. Now we do. We should make use of it."

Seconds later, he was cuddled up against her, tucking his arm around her waist. "I thought we just did," she heard him murmur in her ear.

She laughed, sliding her arm over his and entwining her hand in his.

Satiated for the moment, they snuggled together, secure in the strength of their enduring love. They drifted off into a contented slumber, aware that they'd be "making use of the space" again shortly.

* * *

Tom returned to his quarters. His and B'Elanna's. Even though she was gone from this life forever, lost to him, he still felt her presence.

Rubbing his temples, he lay down on the bed, thoroughly spent. He felt guilty for having snapped at Harry like that, but he reminded himself that he had only spoken the truth. Their situation was dire, and there wasn't much hope of avoiding their fate: molecular decohesion that would lead to certain death.

Truth be told, he already felt dead inside. His hopes, his dreams, his future had all died with her.

He was so very tired...

But he couldn't stop thinking. He lay there quietly, unable to sleep despite his fatigue. Missing her terribly. Mourning his loss. Thinking about the first time he and B'Elanna had shared this bed. It had also been the last time. First, last and only.

_B'Elanna..._ His heart cried out for her. He wasn't complete without her. It made him feel cold and empty inside. No hope. Nothing to look forward to, nothing to live for.

He forced the thought out of his mind... it was unbearable to think of being here without her. He forced himself to think of something else before he had an emotional breakdown.

Closing his eyes, he contemplated their current situation. Captain Janeway had finally come to her senses and turned the ship around. They were still homeward-bound, but this time home was on Demon.

_Demon._

Tom was starting to remember what had happened on the original Voyager. How he and Harry had been the first to be duplicated accidentally. How the crew of the original Voyager was at a loss as to what to do about it. Were they real or merely copies that never should have existed in the first place?

Either way, they existed, and they had the right to live. Even if they had been created accidentally, they were the responsibility of the original Voyager crew.

He remembered how confused he'd been, trying to understand and make sense of it. Afraid of being left there alone. Terrified by the thought of living without B'Elanna. It had been a very real possibility, considering how reluctant she had been to donate a DNA sample.

But in the end, she had allowed herself to be duplicated along with the rest of the Voyager crew. They had concluded that the duplicate Tom and Harry were just as real as the original Tom and Harry and deserving of that much. They could have left him and Harry there to fend for themselves, but instead they had provided for them, not wanting to leave them stranded alone.

Most importantly, B'Elanna hadn't wanted him to be alone. She loved him too much. So she had given him a companion, a perfect duplicate of herself. And he had loved her more than anything.

_I love you, B'Elanna... _

He knew she wouldn't have wanted him to grieve for her like this. She would have wanted him to pick up the pieces and move on. To be strong for her sake. To be happy.

Because she loved him as much as he loved her...

He could remember all the joy she had brought to his life...

Countless lunches and dinners together... shooting pool in Sandrine's... lounging in the Paxau resort... frolicking on the beaches of Tahiti... long walks... working on projects together... comforting her when she needed him... seeking comfort in her arms... pouring his heart out to her... laughing with her... their wedding... making love with her...

All those moments served to remind him...

Their love had been very real.

He was a better person for having loved her and having been loved by her.

_Harry was right,_ he realized. _She was my wife, and I was lucky to have her in my life. _Short as it was, he wouldn't have traded that for anything in the universe. They had been so happy together, and it had made his entire existence worthwhile. It didn't matter that they were only duplicates of the original Tom and B'Elanna. Their love for one another had been duplicated perfectly as well. A love so pure and compelling that to have experienced it far eclipsed the pain of his loss.

He was real, as were all his friends, his crewmates, his ship. They were no less worthy than the original Voyager and her crew. Even though they had been created from and by the original, the duplicates had forged their own path and made remarkable progress on their own. That was something to be proud of, and he found peace in that knowledge.

Still, he couldn't help wondering about the original Tom and B'Elanna. Wondering how they were doing, where they were, whether they had gotten home, whether they had gotten married. He had no doubt that they were alive and well, very much in love and together. That thought gave him solace.

He was grateful to them both for giving him this existence and that of his longtime companion. His wife.

Tom closed his eyes, picturing her... Remembering how beautiful she was on their wedding day, and always. Every moment, so vibrant, passionate, radiant and beautiful.

She had died in peace, with him at her side. Unaware that they were all duplicates. Never questioning their identity, their existence, their purpose. She had left this world dreaming of their honeymoon, the beginning of the rest of their lives together. The last images she'd had were filled with peace, happiness and love. Secure in the knowledge that he loved her, how much he loved her, she had passed away peacefully, painlessly...

It hurt to lose her, but at least she hadn't suffered. She had been spared all the anguish he was going through now. She would never have to deal with the pain of being left behind, and for that he was glad. Better him than her.

He blinked slowly, feeling the fatigue overtake him. So tired. Slowly drifting off into unconsciousness, he dreamt of his beautiful bride. _ B'Elanna... _She was waiting for him. He could hear her musical voice calling out to him softly.

"Tom..."

They would be together again soon.

Elsewhere in the galaxy, they already were.

* * *

Captain Janeway closed her eyes, mentally preparing for her speech.

A few hours ago while scanning the debris field at the unidentified ship's last known coordinates, Voyager's sensors had faintly detected residual fragments of what appeared to have been a signal beacon.

There was barely anything left to salvage, but the remains they managed to recover gave them some answers. Snippets of personal logs and mission records revealed the identity and fate of the destroyed ship.

There was no doubt about it. It was... Voyager. The Voyager they had left on Demon, a duplicate ship so exact that even its crew had forgotten that it was merely a replica of the original. A duplicate crew so identical to the original crew that it had been nearly impossible to distinguish the two.

But now, there was nothing left of the Demon duplicates except traces of deuterium, hydrogen disulfide and dichromate.

Their loss was keenly felt by the original Voyager crew. Most of them had harbored high hopes for their Demon counterparts and the colony they would found. It was disheartening to learn that the duplicates and their vessel had all perished.

To boost morale, Captain Janeway was holding a memorial service in their honor.

Opening her eyes, she studied her assembled crew for a moment, then began to speak.

"We are gathered here to today to honor and remember the Demon Voyager and crew the way they deserve."

A few of the crewmembers bowed their heads.

"Ten months ago, two of our crew were accidentally duplicated by a biomimetic, non-sentient lifeform on the Demon planet. After careful consideration of the ethics and consequences, the rest of us allowed ourselves to be duplicated as well rather than leave them behind on their own."

She glanced to her left at Chakotay, who gave her a nearly imperceptible nod of encouragement. Taking a deep breath, she continued.

"Those duplicates were like us in nearly every way. They shared our physical appearance, our memories, our personalities, our strengths and weaknesses, our hopes, fears and dreams. In essence, they _were_ us."

The captain allowed her gaze to drift. Next to Chakotay, Tom and B'Elanna were standing together, hand in hand. As B'Elanna struggled to maintain her composure, Tom gave her hand a little squeeze.

"We gave them humanoid form, sentience, emotions, memories and life as we knew it, but their existence did not detract from our individuality. Instead, it opened up new possibilities. They had the potential and opportunity to grow in so many different ways..."

Next to Tom and B'Elanna, Seven stood stiffly, tight-lipped, with Harry close beside her. He looked downcast but mustered a small smile when she glanced in his direction.

"When we left Demon, their paths diverged from ours. Though they were created in our image, they had the freedom to evolve and thrive apart from us. And thrive they did. They had their own Voyager and decided to leave their planet of origin to explore the stars. They even developed new technology that improved the efficiency of their engines."

She paused. It was unclear from the salvaged remains whether that new technology had caused the destruction of the duplicate ship, and she didn't want her crew to dwell on that possibility.

Nearby on her right, Tuvok sensed her hesitation and raised his eyebrows slightly in understanding. Beside him, the Doctor and Neelix were also offering their silent support.

"We'll probably never know exactly what they were setting out to do, what their lives were like these past ten months, or what ultimately led to their untimely demise, but what we _do_ know is that they achieved remarkable progress in that period. They've shown us what they were capable of, and also what _we_ can accomplish together."

She looked beyond her senior staff, gauging the reactions of the rest of her crew. In the far corner, a young ensign from Stellar Cartography was fighting back tears. Lieutenant Joe Carey patted her shoulder in an effort to comfort her.

"Our Demon counterparts... they were very real. They may have started out as copies of us, but they quickly became much more. They weren't merely duplicates; they were unique individuals with a rich history distinctive from our own."

On the other side of the room, Naomi Wildman squirmed in her mother's arms, trying to understand everything that had happened.

"They embodied the best of what we are and all that we can become. We mourn their loss, but we remember and honor them so that they will always be alive in our hearts. They will always be with us."

* * *

After the memorial service, Tom and B'Elanna headed back to his quarters, deep in thought and grieving for their duplicates, who had perished just as their lives together as husband and wife were beginning.

They didn't know what to make of that. Not quite ready for marriage themselves, they were awed that their counterparts had taken that step.

They didn't speak for a long while, merely looked everywhere but at each other, as they weren't entirely comfortable with the idea and didn't know what to say.

The tragedy of losing an entire starship like the duplicate Voyager and her crew also disturbed them. They had also felt quite connected to their duplicates, which made it all the worse.

When the duplicates were first created, the original crew had felt renewed optimism. The thought of leaving behind a colony in the Delta Quadrant had been comforting. It had made them feel less alone, reassured by the knowledge that even though Voyager might never make it home, at least part of them would always be home on Demon. But now...

Eventually, B'Elanna broke the silence. "I know it doesn't make any sense... but I feel like I've lost a part of myself."

Tom turned to her, taking the opportunity to enfold her in his embrace. "No, it makes sense. I feel the same way," he replied quietly. "They were a part of us, after all."

They settled in each other's arms, saddened by the enormity of their loss. Voyager hadn't been able to salvage much. Other than a few bits and pieces, everything from the duplicate Voyager had been lost.

So they were left wondering what had happened to them, what their lives had been like for the past ten months. Wondering about the different paths that their duplicates had chosen. They didn't know much about what had happened to their duplicates and could only speculate.

"I... I wonder what their wedding was like," B'Elanna mused softly, finally broaching the subject. "I wish there had been something more that we could remember them by. We don't really know very much about them..."

"Well... have you ever imagined what our wedding would be like?"

The question was met with awkward silence, and Tom was instantly sorry that he had asked. He was about to hastily say "Never mind," but then...

"The thought had crossed my mind," she admitted. "Once or twice."

He was encouraged. "How do you envision it? I'd like to hear about it."

"Okay..." Smiling slightly, she closed her eyes and began describing her vision of their wedding. "Hmm... The ceremony and reception are held in the Mess Hall, which is tastefully decorated. All of our friends are there in dress uniform, having a wonderful time. There's enough food for a gourmet banquet, and everyone is drinking champagne from fluted champagne glasses. In the corner, there's an elaborate wedding cake, beautifully adorned with flowers and..."

"Complete with a little plastic bride and groom on top?"

B'Elanna opened her eyes and considered that for a moment. "I suppose."

"They could be little plastic replicas of us in uniform," he grinned, chuckling at his own joke.

She rolled her eyes at him but smiled as well.

"Harry's there, playing his clarinet, accompanied by the rest of his quartet... They're playing romantic melodies while the guests nibble on hors d'oeuvres, sip champagne and make conversation. Neelix is roaming around serving his culinary masterpieces –"

"Like leola root stew?"

"Okay, he's roaming around serving replicated delicacies," she amended. "And making sure that everyone is having a good time. He's also passing out rice for the guests to throw..."

"...which is a custom that he doesn't understand..."

"Right. And neither does Seven. She's standing there looking confused and undoubtedly asking all sorts of questions about human wedding rituals..."

"Prompting the Doc to make his usual helpful wry comments..."

"Of course. And when he's not doing that, he insists on taking pictures of everything and everyone, telling them 'Smile!'"

"...including Tuvok, who's not smiling but is offering his logical insights on marriage and wedding rituals to Seven and Neelix."

They both laughed, picturing Tuvok, Seven, the Doctor and Neelix at their wedding.

"Everyone else is watching them, shaking their heads in amusement."

Tom grinned, nodding in agreement. "And what about us? what are we doing?"

"I'm getting to that." She thought about it some more. "Let's see..." she said, closing her eyes again and imagining the scene before her. "You're in the Mess Hall already, anxiously awaiting my arrival. You're nervous but excited. Captain Janeway is right beside you, making supportive, encouraging comments and assuaging any doubts you might have..."

"I won't have any," he interjected, very quietly but with utmost certainty.

She smiled. "I know. But the captain will want to reassure you anyway. You know how she is."

"I know. You're right."

They gazed at each other for a long moment, basking in the warmth and comfortable familiarity that they shared.

"So when do you finally arrive?" he wanted to know. "I must be getting impatient there, waiting for my beautiful bride..."

"All right, all right." She gave an exaggerated sigh, then continued with her description. "Suddenly, the doors open, and there I am, escorted by Chakotay. I've always pictured him giving me away at my wedding..."

Tom nodded. That was no surprise.

"We start walking down the aisle as Harry plays the wedding march on his clarinet. Chakotay leads me to where you and the Captain are standing, then deposits me at your side. After Harry finishes the song, everyone quiets down, and Captain Janeway begins performing the ceremony. The ceremony is short and sweet..."

"What, no elaborate Klingon rituals? No bat'leths or pain sticks?" he asked jokingly. "And I was so looking forward to that part."

She made a face at him. "A simple ceremony," she repeated emphatically. "Very short and traditional. We're standing there at the altar together, holding hands... then we say our vows, which we've written ourselves – it's more personal that way – and exchange wedding rings..."

"Rings?" he echoed, not expecting that.

"Symbols of our eternal love," she said in a faraway voice.

He hugged her closer, moved by her romanticism. He loved the idea.

"At this point, Harry, the best man, is so misty-eyed that he's forgotten that he has the rings. The captain has to remind him..."

"And then, I get to kiss the bride..."

She laughed. "Not just yet. You certainly try, but the captain interrupts you. You have to wait until finishes the ceremony."

He also laughed, knowing that she was right that he would be overeager to kiss the bride. But he couldn't resist adding, "In all fairness, I think the bride would be equally eager to kiss the groom."

She nodded, chuckling. That was true. "Okay... Captain Janeway finally finishes the ceremony. She says, 'by the power vested in me by Starfleet Command, the President's Council of the United Federation of Planets, and so on... I now pronounce you husband and wife.'"

"And then she says to me, 'You may now kiss the bride.'"

"Mm-hm. So you kiss me... tenderly, sweetly, full of promise..."

"Like this?" He kissed her...

She kissed him back. "Just like that."

They smiled at one another.

"And then... that's it. We're officially married. Everyone cheers and make toasts while we kiss again and again, happier than we've ever been. After that, it's time for me to throw my wedding bouquet..."

"...which Seven would probably catch..."

She giggled. "That would be entertaining. She probably won't understand what it means..."

"I'm sure Harry or Tuvok will enlighten her!"

"Of course!"

"The Doc and Neelix might even make some... suggestions..."

Imagining that scene set off another fit of laughter.

"Okay, okay... what comes next?"

"Oh... we leave the Mess Hall hand in hand as well-wishers shower us with rice and surround us with their warmth, love, and friendship."

He nodded, in complete agreement with the picture she'd painted so far. It was lovely. "Then after that... we go on our honeymoon?" he asked hopefully.

She raised an eyebrow. "Sure... but it's your job to plan that since I planned our wedding."

"That sounds fair. I have a few ideas… and a few holodeck programs that might work. Any particular preferences?"

"Anyplace I don't mind spending a few days in..."

"Only a few days? A week, at least."

"A week?! I can't be away from my engines that long!"

"They'll have to do without you. I want you to myself for at least a week."

"Oh, all right. I'll think about it. Depends on where we're going, though."

"How 'bout 'Captain Proton'?"

She gave him a "don't-even-think-about-it" look, though she knew he was only kidding. He hadn't even been in that program since the "Bride of Chaotica!" chapter.

"Too bad we don't know where our Demon counterparts went on their honeymoon. I'm sure they had some great ideas..."

They became serious once again at the thought of their counterparts.

"If only there had been some record... We'll never really know." She sighed. "I wish I knew more about them. I'd like to know what their wedding was like... if it was anything like I've always pictured our wedding..."

"If that's the way you envision it... then it must have been very much like their wedding. Because she was just like you."

B'Elanna nodded slowly. "They were like us. A part of us." She hesitated, troubled. "I can't help feeling like we've failed them somehow. We created them, had a responsibility to them..."

"We created them, but they had their own lives to live, their own decisions to make." He shrugged. "There are always risks involved. They had a starship like ours, and the same kinds of risks we face."

"That's what's frightening. They were just like us, and they didn't make it."

He frowned, trying to make sense of it all. "They were like us, but they weren't us. There's so much that we didn't know about them, about life on Demon. And that means that they didn't know enough about themselves. They only knew what we knew, after all. We know ourselves better than that."

"Do we?"

"Yes," he said firmly. "And we're learning more and more about ourselves all the time. I mean, look at all that we've learned today."

She smiled. "Meaning we could have been married and living together by now, like our duplicates?"

"It's certainly something to think about. It's not so farfetched."

"I guess not. It's a big decision, but it's a possibility."

"We don't have to decide anything now. It just made me think, that's all."

Falling silent, they thought about how lucky they were to have each other. The demise of their duplicates had reminded them how capricious life could be. They'd also had their share of close calls and near misses lately, almost losing each other. But they had prevailed. They were still together, alive and well, living life to the fullest. Thriving.

They snuggled together, needing the closeness, the reassurance.

"They must have been so happy together," B'Elanna murmured.

"I'm sure they were as happy together as we are."

That was why they didn't regret for one moment having given their Demon counterparts a part of their lives. Sharing that kind of life, that kind of love, only made them stronger. A love that was unique and rare... a love so powerful and unifying that it had existed and deepened even in their counterparts.

_Our eternal love._

Though they weren't quite ready to join in marriage just yet the way their counterparts had, they were nonetheless very much together...

And they would never forget what their Demon counterparts had given them. The paths that their duplicates had chosen reminded them that there was a wealth of possibilities for the future and strengthened their faith in their love for one another. Reminding them that every moment was precious, that they should treasure and cherish what they had together because life was fragile and unpredictable.

They would remember... and their love would live on.

The End :)


End file.
